What I've Learned About Elegance
Finding my own version of elegance, without waiting for a special occasion.
· 4 min read · Tania Cottew
My grandmother always looked elegant, no matter the occasion. My mother wasn't far behind.
I've tended to keep elegance for special occasions. A lovely outfit for somewhere lovely to go, rather than something I thought about on an ordinary day. But with Elemi's help, that is changing.
It has made me think about the difference between fashion, style and elegance. They overlap, of course, but I don't think they are quite the same thing.
Fashion offers us something new. A different shape, a colour we haven't considered, a fresh way of wearing something familiar.
Style is more personal. It's what we choose from all those possibilities, and what we keep loving long after the fashion has moved on.
Elegance, I'm beginning to think, is less about what is new and more about how we feel in what we wear.
The clothes that change how you feel
For me, there is something about silk.
Long dresses, shorter dresses, skirts, trousers and tops. I love them all. There is something about silk that transforms me when I wear it.
That feeling matters. It reminds me that getting dressed can be a pleasure, rather than simply something to get through before the day begins.
A cardigan or a pashmina wrap can make those pieces work for different weather and different occasions. Beautiful jewellery adds another possibility. It doesn't always have to be saved for an evening out.
Perhaps that is the change I'm making: not becoming a different person, but allowing myself to enjoy more of what I already own.
Does elegance need an occasion?
We can become very good at saving things.
The beautiful dress. The lovely necklace. The clothes we bought because they made us feel wonderful, then put away until there was a good enough reason to wear them.
There are practical reasons to choose one outfit over another. The weather, our comfort and what the day involves all matter. But "it's only an ordinary day" doesn't always need to be a reason to leave something lovely in the wardrobe.
Elegance needn't mean being formally dressed. It needn't mean heels, expensive labels or an outfit that takes an hour to assemble.
It can be a simple combination that feels right. Clothes that are comfortable, a colour you enjoy, a piece of jewellery you love.
My grandmother always looked elegant. I'm not trying to dress exactly as she did, or as my mother did.
But I am beginning to think that I don't have to wait for a special occasion to find my own version.